My Relationship with God

I love God. He is my parent, mother and father. He is my comforter, he is who I turn to when I am hurting. He is a strict parent, he lets me suffer the consequences for my poor behaviors if I am not 'getting it', but he also forgives my mistakes, especially when I see the error of my ways.Sometimes, it is necessary for him to let me suffer for others actions. Whether those actions were actions of love that were mistakes or were actions of fear that were intended harm. Ultimately that can be so others can learn from their mistakes or because of some reason that I might not understand (now or ever). Someday I might see why, or I might not. That is ok with me because I know that God wants what is best for me.

I know that he cares for us and that He will make the right decisions regarding judgment. It is not my place to make those determinations for anyone else. I might argue for or against their case, but I accept God's judgement whatever I might think the ultimate judgement should be. There are some who will not be able to tolerate God's presence and similar to the way that Moses went temporarily blind when turning his face to God, they will suffer greater than that when coming into His presence. In the way that a drowing victim struggles against the lifeguard who comes to rescue, they will ultimately suffer more if they do not trust Him.

I know that I am not completely with God at this time. There is an emptiness inside of me that he wants to fill, but I choose too often to fill it with things of this world instead of Him. When I fill it with Him, I feel the peace that passes all understanding and I know that whatever happens, God's will is my greatest joy. When I doubt God's perfect love, then my fear causes me to be angry, hurt, resentful, and/or afraid of myself and my fellow man. When I am in God's perfect presence and he has cleansed away all of my hurts and resentment for others, like a parent cleansing away the dust and dirt from an injury that needs a band aid... when He has done that, then I will only feel his perfect love and that will be heaven.

I have come to realize that we appreciate nothing unless we have to sacrifice something of ourselves for it. I can understand why God wanted sacrifice from us...so that we would appreciate Him. I make sacrifices every day for my family. They might not be great sacrifices, I certainly don't resent them in any way, but no matter how small they are, they are still sacrifices. Each sacrifice I make shows the person that I make it for that I don't just say I love them, I mean it. Perfect love is in not considering that sacrifice sacrificial, but a joy and opportunity to do something for someone you care for. God wants that relationship with me and I want that relationship with him.

God bless you and may your relationship with Him grow.