The Way
One night before we moved away from Germany, I had a dream...
I dreamt that I was on a path. In the beginning of the dream I was young. I had no thought of leaving the path. Although the path was generally comfortable, there were occasions of darkness along it, but I generally walked down the path without a care, in my own little world. My path crossed other paths and I had opportunities to meet other people walking on their paths that intersected my own.
As I grew older, I started noticing things about the path I was on. I saw the sky. I noticed the trees that lined the path. The trees were beautiful, friendly, and adventurous looking. I started noticing that occasionally there were paths that branched off the path I followed. As I continued along the path, these other offshoots appealed to my sense of adventure. I would draw closer to them, look at them, consider them, but I still wanted to see what was ahead on the beautiful path I was on.
A time came when I was becoming frustrated with the path I was on. I was getting nowhere, tired of the path and those offshoots looked so appealing. I wanted adventure. I knew I was supposed to stay on the path, but I made a willful decision to deliberately step off the path because I had an opportunity. I thought no one was watching me...and I stepped into the woods.
Initially, when I stepped into the woods, they still seemed appealing. The offshoot I followed had things I had never seen before, so I pressed forward. This was ADVENTURE! As I drew deeper into the wood, it grew denser, darker. I decided to forge on ahead in the name of adventure! Eventually, the offshoot I followed stopped having any appearance of a path. Then I became concerned. I was in the middle of a dense, dark, cold wood. I looked back and couldn't find the offshoot behind me anymore. I began to regret leaving the path I was on originally and wanted to find my way back. I knew the general direction, but I didn't know how to get there. I discovered there was no way to go backward and undo what decisions I had already made. I knew that I needed to find my way back to the path I was on originally, so I turned in the 'general' direction that I knew that path was in, and I forged ahead.
Now, forging ahead through the middle of the densest thickest part of the forest is fine when you think you have a path in front of you, but when you totally leave any semblance of path in order to return to the original one, you discover that the forest that appears so beautiful can also be painful. I stumbled into brambles and thorns, I came across other paths, some were very dark. Between the pain and darkness, I became afraid. At times it was debilitating to the point I couldn't go forward. I occasionally ran into people on those other paths. I saw my husband on one of these paths and I grabbed a hold of him because it was so dark I couldn't see where I was going (but I knew it was my husband...hey, it was a dream! lol). He offered to help me find my path again, I was relieved. So I held onto him as he led me along his path. It was nice not being alone anymore. I was less afraid.
After some time as he led me, I became frustrated because he wasn't finding my path and now I was blinded besides! I occasionally took out my frustration on him, but really, I was frustrated with myself for ever losing my path to begin with. Following my husband wasn't working. His path and mine could intersect, be close to one another, or parallel, but as long as I was holding onto him, I wasn't going to find what I was looking for. I decided to finally let go. I wanted to stay close to him, but I still needed to find the path I belonged on.
As I stepped away from him, just a bit, I could see again. I started to notice that where I was, things looked familiar. I realized that I must be getting closer to MY path! When I looked closer in the direction I needed to go, I saw that to reach my path, I had to go through brambles and sticker bushes. I knew I was going to get dirty, and I was going to experience pain. I became afraid again, but this time, I made a deliberate decision to choose to go through the pain in order to be on my path again. I accepted that my temporary pain was worth being on the right path. I stepped into the bushes.
I had found my way. My heart was overflowing with joy. My husband celebrated with me. Now when I walked on my path, I had a companion close to me. I looked ahead on my path and there was a beautiful light ahead of me. Looking at the woods on either side, they were still beautiful, but I respected them and could appreciate them for what they were, yet know that I was where I belonged.
Now, after returning to my path, I noticed something that I had been completely unaware of prior to returning to my path. During the entire time I was walking my path as a youth I had a warm, safe, presence with me. I realized that even while I thought I was alone in the woods, that presence was with me and comforted me and brought the right challenges to me and the right comforters to me at the times that I most needed them in order to return to my path. Although I had turned away from the comfort and warmth that He offered, He knew what I wanted, what I was searching for wasn't just my path, it was Him. When I was on my path, the one He designed with me in mind, I was closest to Him. When I chose to go my own way, He allowed me to, but He continued to watch over me.
Thank you, God.
I dreamt that I was on a path. In the beginning of the dream I was young. I had no thought of leaving the path. Although the path was generally comfortable, there were occasions of darkness along it, but I generally walked down the path without a care, in my own little world. My path crossed other paths and I had opportunities to meet other people walking on their paths that intersected my own.
As I grew older, I started noticing things about the path I was on. I saw the sky. I noticed the trees that lined the path. The trees were beautiful, friendly, and adventurous looking. I started noticing that occasionally there were paths that branched off the path I followed. As I continued along the path, these other offshoots appealed to my sense of adventure. I would draw closer to them, look at them, consider them, but I still wanted to see what was ahead on the beautiful path I was on.
A time came when I was becoming frustrated with the path I was on. I was getting nowhere, tired of the path and those offshoots looked so appealing. I wanted adventure. I knew I was supposed to stay on the path, but I made a willful decision to deliberately step off the path because I had an opportunity. I thought no one was watching me...and I stepped into the woods.
Initially, when I stepped into the woods, they still seemed appealing. The offshoot I followed had things I had never seen before, so I pressed forward. This was ADVENTURE! As I drew deeper into the wood, it grew denser, darker. I decided to forge on ahead in the name of adventure! Eventually, the offshoot I followed stopped having any appearance of a path. Then I became concerned. I was in the middle of a dense, dark, cold wood. I looked back and couldn't find the offshoot behind me anymore. I began to regret leaving the path I was on originally and wanted to find my way back. I knew the general direction, but I didn't know how to get there. I discovered there was no way to go backward and undo what decisions I had already made. I knew that I needed to find my way back to the path I was on originally, so I turned in the 'general' direction that I knew that path was in, and I forged ahead.
Now, forging ahead through the middle of the densest thickest part of the forest is fine when you think you have a path in front of you, but when you totally leave any semblance of path in order to return to the original one, you discover that the forest that appears so beautiful can also be painful. I stumbled into brambles and thorns, I came across other paths, some were very dark. Between the pain and darkness, I became afraid. At times it was debilitating to the point I couldn't go forward. I occasionally ran into people on those other paths. I saw my husband on one of these paths and I grabbed a hold of him because it was so dark I couldn't see where I was going (but I knew it was my husband...hey, it was a dream! lol). He offered to help me find my path again, I was relieved. So I held onto him as he led me along his path. It was nice not being alone anymore. I was less afraid.
After some time as he led me, I became frustrated because he wasn't finding my path and now I was blinded besides! I occasionally took out my frustration on him, but really, I was frustrated with myself for ever losing my path to begin with. Following my husband wasn't working. His path and mine could intersect, be close to one another, or parallel, but as long as I was holding onto him, I wasn't going to find what I was looking for. I decided to finally let go. I wanted to stay close to him, but I still needed to find the path I belonged on.
As I stepped away from him, just a bit, I could see again. I started to notice that where I was, things looked familiar. I realized that I must be getting closer to MY path! When I looked closer in the direction I needed to go, I saw that to reach my path, I had to go through brambles and sticker bushes. I knew I was going to get dirty, and I was going to experience pain. I became afraid again, but this time, I made a deliberate decision to choose to go through the pain in order to be on my path again. I accepted that my temporary pain was worth being on the right path. I stepped into the bushes.
I had found my way. My heart was overflowing with joy. My husband celebrated with me. Now when I walked on my path, I had a companion close to me. I looked ahead on my path and there was a beautiful light ahead of me. Looking at the woods on either side, they were still beautiful, but I respected them and could appreciate them for what they were, yet know that I was where I belonged.
Now, after returning to my path, I noticed something that I had been completely unaware of prior to returning to my path. During the entire time I was walking my path as a youth I had a warm, safe, presence with me. I realized that even while I thought I was alone in the woods, that presence was with me and comforted me and brought the right challenges to me and the right comforters to me at the times that I most needed them in order to return to my path. Although I had turned away from the comfort and warmth that He offered, He knew what I wanted, what I was searching for wasn't just my path, it was Him. When I was on my path, the one He designed with me in mind, I was closest to Him. When I chose to go my own way, He allowed me to, but He continued to watch over me.
Thank you, God.
posted by Dancer | 5:30 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home