He Will be a Father to the Fatherless (and a Mother to the Motherless)
On August 13, 2005, it was 16 years since my mom died. As I am 32, that means half my life without my mother (give or take a few months).
This time of year always makes me contemplative about why God answered my prayers with a “No.” I don’t believe it was because I didn’t believe enough. I don’t think it was unconfessed sin in my life. I was attending church every Sunday, faithfully. My mom was praying, going to Bible study, attending church when she wasn’t in the hospital.
For me, I think God answered No because He knew it would be best for me in the long run. He knew the kind of person I was becoming and that instead of reaching for Him to comfort me, I needed to feel that fear and absence in my life so that I would reach for Him. Initially, I was shocked because I KNEW that my faith was strong enough for God to heal my mom. Even after she died, I knew that there must have been a good reason that God took her and I told the adults in my church that I was lucky to have her for as long as I did. Some mothers die when their babies are born, I was blessed to know my mom for 16 years.
Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t perfect. She had fears, jealousies, anger. She was proud of me becoming a cheerleader in high school until my cheerleading interfered with her comfort. I was supposed to be allowed to date when I turned 16, but when she had to wait up for me, that changed. She was extremely emotional and had a rough childhood. She had a lot of fear and wasn’t a regular churchgoer until she married my dad. She had a lot of love and respect for Jesus and for the sacraments (especially communion, funny story about that…lol). She didn’t want my brother and I to grow up. She loved us very much and wanted to protect us from the world.
Knowing my mom led me to know God better. I know He loves me very much and that He will give me exactly what I need. He doesn’t view death the same way we do. It isn’t an ending. When He chooses our time to die, it is the perfect time for us to come to Him and be with Him. It is the time that best fits His plan here on earth for those left behind to mourn. My mom’s death helped my faith to grow because when I didn’t have her to clean up my emotional messes anymore, I had no one to turn to that would fill that empty space except God. He did and does. Although He protects me from the world sometimes, He also lets me learn from my mistakes which sometimes requires me to suffer for my mistakes. Sometimes my strength in dealing with suffering might help someone else’s faith to grow. When it gets to be too much, He knows that too and carries my load for me. In Him, I am not afraid because He is my safety net. He is always with me and will never let anything that is not truly good for me happen to me or those I love.
Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
God bless.
This time of year always makes me contemplative about why God answered my prayers with a “No.” I don’t believe it was because I didn’t believe enough. I don’t think it was unconfessed sin in my life. I was attending church every Sunday, faithfully. My mom was praying, going to Bible study, attending church when she wasn’t in the hospital.
For me, I think God answered No because He knew it would be best for me in the long run. He knew the kind of person I was becoming and that instead of reaching for Him to comfort me, I needed to feel that fear and absence in my life so that I would reach for Him. Initially, I was shocked because I KNEW that my faith was strong enough for God to heal my mom. Even after she died, I knew that there must have been a good reason that God took her and I told the adults in my church that I was lucky to have her for as long as I did. Some mothers die when their babies are born, I was blessed to know my mom for 16 years.
Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t perfect. She had fears, jealousies, anger. She was proud of me becoming a cheerleader in high school until my cheerleading interfered with her comfort. I was supposed to be allowed to date when I turned 16, but when she had to wait up for me, that changed. She was extremely emotional and had a rough childhood. She had a lot of fear and wasn’t a regular churchgoer until she married my dad. She had a lot of love and respect for Jesus and for the sacraments (especially communion, funny story about that…lol). She didn’t want my brother and I to grow up. She loved us very much and wanted to protect us from the world.
Knowing my mom led me to know God better. I know He loves me very much and that He will give me exactly what I need. He doesn’t view death the same way we do. It isn’t an ending. When He chooses our time to die, it is the perfect time for us to come to Him and be with Him. It is the time that best fits His plan here on earth for those left behind to mourn. My mom’s death helped my faith to grow because when I didn’t have her to clean up my emotional messes anymore, I had no one to turn to that would fill that empty space except God. He did and does. Although He protects me from the world sometimes, He also lets me learn from my mistakes which sometimes requires me to suffer for my mistakes. Sometimes my strength in dealing with suffering might help someone else’s faith to grow. When it gets to be too much, He knows that too and carries my load for me. In Him, I am not afraid because He is my safety net. He is always with me and will never let anything that is not truly good for me happen to me or those I love.
Matthew 6:25-34
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
God bless.
posted by Dancer | 12:16 AM
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