Thankfulness

Just thinking again. I saw that a friend of mine wrote "Thankful for a God that never lets me down."

I 'liked' it (Facebook style), but then I just HAD to overthink it.

I thought about how many times I have NOT been grateful for when God DID let me down...and I should have been. There are so many times that I knocked on Heaven's door asking God for something and he did not give me what I wanted. These are not little things. I am talking about BIG things.

When someone hurt my family and I prayed for JUSTICE and instead, God held a mirror up to me and showed me my own sins.

God knew I needed humility.

When I KNEW that God was going to heal my mom because of my faith. I KNEW he was not going to take her away from me. I needed her and I KNEW that God KNEW I needed her.

But God knew that all I really needed was Him. He would provide for me where I was hurting and where I felt the emptiness of pain and fear, he put love. God is love.

When I prayed that my husband would not lose a job that was making him miserable because I did not know how we would be able to pay for our son's insulin. I had no idea how we could afford to keep him on the medication that would keep him alive.

But God knew that I needed to learn to trust him and his timing. In the place of lies and fear of the world, God put himself, so that I would know I could trust HIM.

When our daughter and I were fighting in her teen years and I would cry out to God, "WHY?" and in the quiet place he would tell me, "Everything you value in life is something for which you have struggled. The more struggle you overcome together, the more you value the relationship. The more you value the relationship, the closer we are to one another."

God does not take joy in my pain or fear or doubt, but He is not Santa Claus either. God is God and I am not. He is the great parent, the great provider, the great artist, the great teacher, the great scientist. That is a relief for me because I am incapable of bearing the weight of the world and everything bad that happens in it. Jesus already did that anyway.

He teaches me, like he taught Jacob, that when he and I struggle together, we become closer and I learn to better depend upon him and trust him. I learn to do what he has given ME to do and let him take care of the rest. This is how he teaches me to take joy in my days to come. This is how he teaches me to welcome the morning rain with sonshine in my heart (not misspelled. Jesus IS sonshine). This is how he teaches me not to fear. This is how he teaches me to love my enemies.

God answers many of my prayers with yes, sometimes even before I realize how to put my prayer into words.  However, I learn the most when he answers my prayers with a no, because he has something better in His plan.

So in my case, I am thankful for a God that DOES let me down easy in MY weakness, because he lifts me up with HIS strength (and I know that is what my friend meant also. Her post just got me to thinking about the times I have NOT been so grateful for God's answer of "No" or "Not yet" until much later, once MY thinking had been changed. :) ).

We are ALL a Little Crazy

The older I get, the more situations I come into contact with that make me realize everyone is a little crazy. Me too! It is just easier to observe one another's crazy because that is the area WE seem to think we are sane in.

Last year we went to a church function and during one evening, we went to the 'hang out room' where a parent was complaining about his teenager. I commiserated that I too had a teenager who was going through the 'teenage angst' period of disrespect. He responded that he believed that my problem had nothing to do with her being a teenager and everything to do with what I NAMED her at birth. Yes, he informed me that my problems were all related to my daughter having the heathen name "Cheyanne". After all, what did I expect when I named her that? It floored me. I just had nothing to say to that and got up and left the room. I think my daughter's name is beautiful and quite frankly has nothing to do with the fact that at times she acts like a typical teenage girl. I think the fact that she IS a typical teenage girl contributes to her acting like one. Duh!

Another day I was talking to someone who has repeatedly informed me that I make "everyone" uncomfortable. When he gave me specifics about who I apparently made uncomfortable, I wrote to the person and asked their forgiveness for having made them uncomfortable. The person informed me they didn't know what I was talking about and had never said it. Then I get an email from the original person saying, "How dare you bring others into our argument." Ummm, I didn't. YOU did when you said that I make THEM uncomfortable and that is why they would't come to your house. Had YOU not lied, they would not have been involved because I would have had no reason to apologize to them for what I thought I had done. Interestingly enough, NOT the first time he said it about me, but it was ALSO said about someone else in the family at another time with regard to the same people. I just wasn't mature enough to call anyone on it at the original times.

Another person informed me that the peace symbol is a satanic symbol... (upside down pitchfork) and should never be worn in church. Amazing that they believe the PRINCE of PEACE would take issue with a symbol that means...peace. Especially since I've been told by others that an upside down CROSS is satanic also. You'd think if it was upside down that turned the pitchfork around that would make it good like the cross was made a bad symbol maybe? Who knows?

Someone else thinks that abuse is a form of 'love' that should be tolerated...while at the same time starting the abuse in the first place by chasing around and hitting the spouse, then self righteously telling everyone what the OTHER did, without pointing out what the first one did to start it. Ummm, you might not be thrown backward or held down or called names if you weren't hitting and calling names first? I know, this must be where I'm crazy for thinking such a thing.

I just decided that everyone has at least a 'little' bit of crazy. We all think we are intelligent, but the fact is that all of us have blind spots within our respective crazies that make us leave WISDOM behind. When we compare our human tradition rules to God's sensible rules, I see that we all have a little crazy in us. I guess that is why God wanted us to have grace for one another...forgive others AS WE WISH to be forgiven: Because ALL of us have a little crazy in us that causes us to need forgiveness for one another and for things which we want to be forgiven. Before we self righteously condemn someone else to the nuthouse for not following OUR rules, perhaps we need to take a good, long, hard look in the mirror and reflect upon our OWN crazy in relation to God's rules.

God bless

Fear and Perfect Love

1 John 4:15-20
If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

Just taking the first part of this, I notice that the wording of acknowledging Jesus as the Son of God is very similar to the wording of "whoever loves God." It is really difficult to love someone and hate their child. Living in God is abiding in God. When we abide in God it means we are studying God's word and making his word the standard we hold ourselves to. While we might not always succeed, we acknowledge our failures as OUR failures without blaming God for them. When we abide in God, our love for him grows because we recognize just how glorious the gifts he has provided us are. In this way we have no need to feel fear because we have no punishment to face. Those of us who are not abiding still feel fear because we are not wearing God's armor of truth, righteousness, and peace and we lack confidence and trust in our God...so we feel fear in those areas of our lives where we know we are denying what God has asked of us.

When we are abiding in God instead of condemning others for not abiding in God, we feel compassion for what they are facing in their struggles. When WE are NOT abiding in God, we are quick to condemn others for fear of the condemnation we know we deserve, but choose to blindly ignore within ourselves.

When I read of perfect love, I think of 1 Corinthians 13.

1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

While we can brag about all the ways that we are so much better than everyone else, God knows the truth. God knows the masks that we wear for everyone around us. God knows the mask of fake righteousness that we choose to hide behind rather than simply acknowledging our failures and moving forward. In his love for us, he will sometimes lovingly remove that mask for us so that we might see that EVEN THOUGH we must admit our failures...he DOES still love us. This is how I see perfect love driving out fear. Perfect love is a love that loves us knowing that even though we make mistakes, when we acknowledge them, we have nothing left TO fear. Our shame is in the anticipation of those things which we know we DESERVE condemnation for. In perfect love, we have no reason to feel shame because we have already acknowledged our mistakes, learned from them, corrected what we could and accepted responsibility for our actions.

In the same way, when we see someone going through a hard time, instead of condemning that person, we should recognize that if the person is aware that they have erred they do not need to hear over and over about their poor choices. Condemning a fellow Christian for his or her sin against God is not our responsibility. Perfect love (following 1 Cor 13) keeps no record of wrongs. If the person has accepted responsibility, then continually bringing up their mistake is not bearing Christlike "perfect love" for your brother. If the person has not accepted responsibility, perhaps it is time to 'shake the dust off' and move on to greener pastures until such time as that person is ready to repent. Fear of condemnation will only drive those living in fear continue to make decisions based in that fear rather than based in God's love and what is best for every one of us is God's love.

God bless

King of the Mountain

I was thinking this morning of the phrase that Paul used in 1 Timothy chapter 1, when he calls himself "chief among sinners" depending on which translation of the Bible you use. I think I know how Paul felt. There are many times I feel like I am the "king of the mountain" when it comes to sin. Only in this game of "king of the mountain," the person who is the one on bottom seems to be the winner, getting crushed by the weight of guilt. Not exactly a competition that any of us want to win, is it?

Sort of like the brother who stayed in the parable of the prodigal son...I can understand how he felt..."Hey! I did everything you wanted, but he gets to share in the glory?! That's not fair!" yet, at the same time, I also feel like the brother who left and returned repentant. He was probably feeling like HE was chief among sinners when he came home. He was willing to be the lowest servant in his father's home and his father returned him to the status of son because he was truly repentant! I wonder at the combination of burning shame and bittersweet happiness he must have felt at his father's mercy.

The centurion in Matthew 8 who wanted his servant to be healed must have felt like chief among sinners and repented of those sins when he said, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and he shall be healed." I imagine the regrets he must have overcome to come before Jesus and ask for something he knew he was not worthy to receive. I wonder at what he must have said to himself to move forward to draw Jesus' attention...did he tell himself, "The worst he can tell me is, 'No'?" or because of the confidence he had in Jesus' ability to heal, did he fear that by asking, he might call wrath down upon himself for being unworthy to ask? He was throwing both himself AND his servant upon Jesus' mercy when he asked for Jesus to heal his servant.

It had to have been hope that drove the prodigal son home and it had to have been hope that sent the centurion to Jesus. I started thinking about how much easier it is for me to have grace for others BECAUSE I am chief among sinners. How can I possibly condemn someone else when I am so unworthy myself? Paul tells me that I shouldn't hate myself, but the sin IN me...and I do hate the sin in me. I often fall short of being who I know God wants me to be. It doesn't keep me from trying that much harder to be the person he wants me to be, but even if I break the law...I repent and am willing to do whatever it takes to make restitution for my actions. How can I hate the sin in me without hating myself and not do the same for someone else facing those same trials I am facing? I have HOPE that God will forgive me for falling prey to my sins, I have the same HOPE for all of us that we can be forgiven when we show God our true repentance.

But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins. (Mark 11:25)

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Luke 6:36-38)

Because I am king of the mountain when it comes to sin, I sit at the bottom of the hill, knowing that I am not worthy to be at the top, but I will help anyone else up who wants to go there and I have hope that the mercy I show to others will be shown to me.

The Morality of "Just Joking"

When I was a teenager, my mom gave me a sage bit of advice.

She told me that when someone makes a remark that upsets me and then after I get upset, the person says, "Oh, Come ON! I was just joking! Don't be so SENSITIVE" I should view those words very carefully along with the person who said them.

I have thought a lot about those words of advice over the years. Every time someone says the phrase, "I was just joking" the conversation pops into my mind. The reason is because I have learned that the people who use that phrase often carry similar character traits to one another.

First, the tone of "I was just joking" is usually resentful.

If it is not resentful, it is hearty, said with a wink to those who they believe will agree with the original statement (as though the person who is offended isn't in on the joke or didn't understand it because the person didn't find it humorous).

On that note, if others ARE around who laugh along with the original 'joke' they usually have similar characteristics to the person who made the 'joke'.

Some of the characterstics I have noted in common are: A lack of respect for others opinions, a similarity to teenagers in the 'teen gang' mentality of trying to 'one up' the people around them (what I usually call a 'lack of maturity'), an excess of pride and/or vanity and an unwillingness to apologize when they hurt someone.

"I was just joking" isn't an apology. It is an excuse. It is a way of rationalizing one's own behavior. It is not a statement of innocence.

Job 21:3
Bear with me while I speak, and after I have spoken, mock on.

Proverbs 21:24
The proud and arrogant man-"Mocker" is his name; he behaves with overweening pride.

Proverbs 22:10
Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended.

Proverbs 29:8
Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger.

Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

I have learned as an adult that there are two ways I can handle these 'jokers'. One way is to avoid them. I do that if it is possible. In some cases, it is not possible.

When it is not possible to avoid them, I simply employ what I have learned: That those persons who employ this sort of behavior are immature and have self esteem issues. The only way they can feel good about themselves is to demean someone else. In those cases, I look at them in all seriousness when the demeaning initial statement is made and ask, "Did that make you feel better?" Then when they respond with their false innocence, I smile and say, "I am glad that I was able to help you. God bless you." I cannot see into a person's heart, but I can recognize their actions and I do not have to tolerate being demeaned. I have the armor of God and it shall protect me.

May God's peace and strength be with you and bless you.

You are Not Alone

Aren't there times that we all feel lonely? Even in the midst of a crowd, I might feel like no one sees me. It is an empty feeling. A feeling of loss and pain and hopelessness.

It can lead to depression.

We withdraw from one another even more, thinking that no one could possibly understand how we feel. We grumble and snarl and take our pain out on those around us, isolating us even further.

It can lead to obsession.

Obsession? You probably think I am crazy, but if you think about it...it makes sense.

Have you ever noticed someone who was lonely, and you were kind to them, and they wouldn't leave you alone? Perhaps that person took it to a point that made you uncomfortable or they took your kindness to mean a romantic interest rather than a friendship sort of interest? Have you ever confused another person's interest in friendship for romance?

I believe this is a way that is used to confuse our discernment of the love of Christ. When the love of Christ is confused for some sort of sexual interest, it can cause us to retreat rather than bringing others into the relationship and increasing the community of the person who we are trying to minister to.

The worst part is that the thought that we are alone is a lie.

When ministering to the lonely, they need not only us as the body of Christ, but they need to know the Love of God so that in the quiet times they know that God is with them and that whether they are in a crowd, or in a secret, quiet place, they are not alone.

We are members of one body. Look for the lonely around you and show them the love of Christ. Bring them into your community so that they feel that love from all around them. Share your light and the light of Christ in the darkness of loneliness. Even though Adam had God's companionship, God still provided Adam with Eve. He said, "It is not good for Man to be alone."

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Romans 12:5
So we, being many, are one body in Christ, and every one members one of another.

1 Corinthians 12:27
Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.

Psalm 34:18
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Luke 8:27-31
When Jesus stepped ashore, he was met by a demon-possessed man from the town. For a long time this man had not worn clothes or lived in a house, but had lived in the tombs. When he saw Jesus, he cried out and fell at his feet, shouting at the top of his voice, "What do you want with me, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I beg you, don't torture me!" For Jesus had commanded the unclean spirit to come out of the man. Many times it had seized him, and though he was chained hand and foot and kept under guard, he had broken his chains and had been driven by the demon into solitary places.

Jesus asked him, "What is your name?"

"Legion," he replied, because many demons had gone into him. And they begged him repeatedly not to order them to go into the Abyss.

Psalm 68:6
God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

We all need support from time to time, but if our attention is constantly on self and never on other, then the reason we are lonely is because our focus is not on the Lord. Sometimes though, the body around us that we have been supporting forgets that each part needs support at different times. Legs cannot stand 24 hours a day, sometimes they need rest. We can't lie around all day, we would get bedsores. Every part of the body needs support at different times.

Our attention should be on one another, not our selves. In our flesh, we don't always remember that those who give, also need. Sometimes those who give need to ask so that those in need have an opportunity to give as well.

We need to reach out to the lonely. Our children need to know that they are not alone. Our neighbors need to know that they are not alone.

We are not alone. We have one another. We need one another. When we are lonely and separate ourselves from loved ones and kindness given, it is not of the Lord. Separating ourselves from poor moral choices is good, seperating ourselves from the love of one another is not good.

When we feel alone it is because we need to be a part of the body of Christ. That is the empty feeling of lonliness.

When one is doing for others, putting others first, and sharing our needs with other members of the body of Christ, we cannot help but stop our focus being on self (alone) and start our focus on others ...which is what our Savior has called us to.

God bless you.

What is Your Heaven?

When I was a little girl, I used to think that heaven would be a place of white clouds and golden streets where we could eat candy, cake and potato chips all day and play and we never had to do chores. I would think that everyone wore a white robe and had wings and a halo. I often hear people describe 'their heaven' in a similar vein.

For example:
I have heard heaven described as a golf course.
I have heard heaven described as a place where things that are sins here on earth will be allowed in heaven (think along the vein of '72 virgins') .
I have heard heaven described as a place where only the people who are 'right' will be.
I have heard heaven descirbed as a place where we won't experience any pain and will all look any way we want.
I have heard heaven described as a place where we won't be around the people we hate.

etc.

I find it interesting that as I got older, I went through a period of time thinking, "Gee, that heaven sounds kind of boring, in fact, it sounds more like hell to me."

Then recently, I looked at what these versions of 'heaven' had in common were aspects of selfishness...the 7 deadly sins: pride, vanity, lust, greed, envy, gluttony, laziness.

In the Lord's Prayer, it says Thy Kingdom Come early on and toward the end it says For Thine IS the Kingdom. If God is the Kingdom and we are praying for Him to come to us, then isn't heaven the complete presence of God with us? Where can sin exist if God is fully present? How can we possibly conceive what heaven really is when our perception of what is 'good' is skewed by our physical desires for what is not good for us or for our fellow man? In all reality, isn't heaven the place that God knows the deepest desires of our spirits and He gives us that? I am not referring to what we think we want, I mean the deepest inner desires that we even hide from ourselves.

So...where do these concepts of heaven that are traditionally expressed come from? Are they scriptural, but misunderstood? Are they from other faiths? Is it a combination?

For example: the streets of gold (Revelation 21:21
The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of pure gold, like transparent glass.)

Is that literally a picture of heaven or is it an example of what we will place value upon in heaven?

I am reminded of the joke about the rich man who asked God to be allowed to bring something from his life upon earth when he died and arrived at the 'Pearly Gates' . God agreed to allow him whatever he could fit in one suitcase. The man joyfully sold all he possessed and had it converted to gold, then purchased the largest suitcase he could and filled it with the gold he had purchased.

Upon his death, when arriving at the 'Pearly Gates', St. Peter was waiting and quite aware of the 'bargain' the man had struck with God. He waited with bated breath to find out what the man had decided to bring.

When the man opened the case to show him, St. Peter looked at him in confusion and asked him, "Why did you bring pavement?"

I find this 'joke' to be theologically interesting for several reasons.

1) The God described in this joke made a bargain with the man that helped him learn a valuable lesson. That reminded me of the book of Job and God making a 'bargain' with Satan with all of his wisdom that involved a learning experience.

2) What perspective do we view heaven from...an earthly perspective or a spiritual perspective?

While I am unable to use my vocabulary limited by my flesh to describe heaven, I imagine heaven to be immersed in God and his eternal love. I cannot imagine anything more heavenly than that.

God bless you.

Teaching Us to Number Our Days

Job 14:5
Man's days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed.

Psalm 39
For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.

1 I said, "I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as the wicked are in my presence."
2 But when I was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.
3 My heart grew hot within me,
and as I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:
4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Selah
6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.
7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.
8 Save me from all my transgressions;
do not make me the scorn of fools.
9 I was silent; I would not open my mouth,
for you are the one who has done this.
10 Remove your scourge from me;
I am overcome by the blow of your hand.
11 You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;
you consume their wealth like a moth—
each man is but a breath.
Selah
12 "Hear my prayer, O LORD,
listen to my cry for help;
be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.
13 Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more."

Psalm 90
A prayer of Moses the man of God.
1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.
2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.
3 You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.
5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-
6 though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.
7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.
10 The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.
12 Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.
14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble. 16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.

I was just thinking about something that my mother in law said to me when she told us about her diagnosis with stage 3 skin cancer.

She said that God already knows the number of her days and how this is going to turn out, so there is no point in bemoaning it, she just needs to enjoy her days, however many there are.

That statement has taught me so much. When I go back and read the Psalms and Job, both of them pair numbering one's days with trials. In Psalm 90, Moses even says that we should be glad for the days we are afflicted...taking joy in our trials.

Without our trials, how often do we appreciate the blessings? I cannot speak for others, but when things have been going well for me for a time, I don't always spend as much time appreciating the one who blessed me with those things. When I am afflicted with trials though, I spend much more time with the one who loves me. Those trials also help me to appreciate all the good in my life and help me to remember to count my blessings. They teach me to appreciate each day I have as one day more to spend with my husband, my children, the people who I love, the blue sky, the roof over my head, the food in my refrigerator, my health, the health of the people I love...

When God teaches us to number our days, I don't think he is telling us to consider how many days we have left until we die, I think he is reminding us to enjoy each day he has blessed us with and to find as much joy in it as we can.

God bless you.

Refined by Fire

Isaiah 48:10
See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.

I don't believe a loving God would give us a pass on every sin we commit just because we say "I love you" or "I believe in you". I believe that would be the least loving kind of God.

As a parent, I love my kids, but I expect more of them because of that love. I give them a pass when I know they truly didn't know better (depending upon the act), but when they know better and do something wrong anyway, I think they learn the lesson better when they suffer the consequences of their actions.

I think God's love means that sometimes he will step back and let us suffer the consequences of our behaviors so that we will draw closer to Him. He doesn't afflict us, but he does allow us to face the consequences of our actions as a learning experience.

That is not to say that I believe God does not forgive us for doing things wrong. Nor does it mean that I believe God does not protect us from ourselves and our actions, it just means that I think he doesn't protect us from ourselves just because we believe in Him, he protects us from ourselves when he knows that we won't learn anything from it, and he allows us to experience the consequences of our actions when he knows that we will grow closer to Him from it.

Romans 5:2-5 (King James Version)

By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Revelation 3:19
Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.

Hebrews 12:4-6 (King James Version)

Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin.

And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

Amen.

Lean Not on Thine Own Understanding

Proverbs 3:5 (King James Version)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

Proverbs 18:2 (NIV)
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.

1 Corinthians 12:1-27
Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant. You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues. All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

In the ancient Church, the different churches came together (the 7 ecumenical councils)...Why do you suppose they CAME TOGETHER?

There were things they didn't agree upon. There were things that they discussed and argued about...similar to the way the various faiths argue on a religion forum I post on and the various sects of Christianity argue amongst themselves in that forum. There are times when I am in this forum and I think to myself that this must be much like what those councils were like.

Does any ONE of us have ALL of the gifts of the Holy Spirit? I sincerely doubt it. Thus, no single one of us can possibly know the ENTIRE truth of God alone. We need one another to keep our sins in check because often we will allow our personal fleshy challenges to get in our way without our even knowing it.

I am a fool without God to guide me, but sometimes he uses the people around me to guide me...he doesn't always use MY understanding to guide me.

God bless you.

Bias and the American Victim Mentality

I was thinking as I was driving home today about how often we call “bias” upon people we disagree with and what causes us to do that. I was also thinking about how often we make a big deal of bias against us, but rarely notice the biases we commit…especially in the cases where we jump to the conclusion that someone is going to be biased against us…so we LOOK for it.

I realized that when I watch television or movies, I look for the politically biased perspective now to see if I notice it. If I disagree with the bias presented (as I see it), I am annoyed and don’t want to watch the show anymore. Then I noticed that when a group, whether it is a matter of race or religion or sexual proclivities or political belief, thinks that they have been ‘discriminated against’ by some group they develop a bias of their own against said group, looking for any opportunity to point it out.

Sometimes we perceive bias where none is present, it is merely disagreement over an opinion. Then the fault lies within ourselves and we need the correction. Sometimes we become paranoid and start seeing things that aren’t there. During those times we should check to find out what someone meant before making an assumption of the worst. Sometimes we see things that ARE there, but were put there in ignorance. During those times we should also ask if the person understood what they did. Sometimes we see things that ARE there and were put there deliberately, but when we explain our position and why it hurt us, the person or people who hurt us repent. Sometimes we see things that ARE there and were put there deliberately, but when we explain our position and why it hurt us, the people who hurt us don’t care. Only the last ones need a stronger and perhaps slightly more painful correction.

As Christians I am aware of the idea that we are supposed to experience trials, but I think that we also tend to create our own trials when we spend all of our time focused upon the biases we experience, especially when everyone has experienced some sort of bias from somewhere. We can compare the biases we experience to one another and say, “The bias I experience is worse than yours because….” or instead of comparing ourselves to one another, we can compare ourselves to Christ and recognize that any bias committed against us was committed against Him first and I am only receiving a shadow of what he did.

2 Corinthians 10:12
We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.

Galatians 6:3-5
If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load.

Romans 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

1 Peter 3:8-9
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Amen.

Reflection

reflection

Main Entry: re·flec·tion
Pronunciation: \ri-ˈflek-shən\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, alteration of reflexion, from Late Latin reflexion-, reflexio act of bending back, from Latin reflectere
Date: 14th century
1: an instance of reflecting; especially : the return of light or sound waves from a surface
2: the production of an image by or as if by a mirror
3 a: the action of bending or folding back b: a reflected part : fold
4: something produced by reflecting: as a: an image given back by a reflecting surface b: an effect produced by an influence
5: an often obscure or indirect criticism : reproach (a reflection on his character)
6: a thought, idea, or opinion formed or a remark made as a result of meditation
7: consideration of some subject matter, idea, or purpose
8obsolete : turning back : return
9 a: a transformation of a figure in which each point is replaced by a point symmetric with respect to a line or plane b: a transformation that involves reflection in more than one axis of a rectangular coordinate system

I was reading about refraction and reflection of light on a wall today. When I got home, I was thinking about the word 'reflect' and the different ways it is used and how it is grammatically set up.

The prefix re- means to do again or to go back

The root word -flect- means 'to bend' (as in 'genuflect') from the Latin flectere.

I would love to know what the words used in the original Greek and Hebrew are...I would be interested in knowing if they had the same meaning. In the English, I find the word 'reflection' to have such a rich and varied meaning.

If I apply the original definition...to bend, to bend back, to bend back again...I can look on that as the sort of position my body ends up in, a position of complete and total vulnerability. I can make myself vulnerable by considering my own behavior.

If I apply the first, second, or fourth definition...I can be a'reflection' of someone else's behavior, meaning that I can behave as they do. I reflect (consider) that I want to reflect (repeat the image of) the Lord.

If I apply the fifth definition, it is a reproach. Whose image do you see when you see me if I am NOT reflecting on my own reflection?

The application of the last line is the one I most love, let my reflection be a transformation. Let that transformation be a reflection of ALL the ways I can be a reflection. Let me reflect upon myself. Let me be a glass that the Lord shines through. Let me reflect the Son, not myself, to others. Let me leave myself vulnerable to Him. Let me spend more time considering my own behaviors and let my EXAMPLE be what helps others to reflect upon their own behaviors.

Most of all, help me to remember to spend time in reflection of the Lord and His Word.

1 Corinthians 13:9-13 (King James Version)
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.

But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

James 1:22-25 (King James Version)
But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass:

For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was.

But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

Proverbs 27:19
As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man.

2 Corinthians 3:18
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

2 Timothy 2:7
Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.

Amen

Please Forgive Me...

As I have mentioned before, several years ago my husband and I attended a Marriage Encounter weekend.

During that weekend, one of the subjects that came up (I don't remember the context) was how to apologize to one's spouse.

Often, during or after an argument, one person would say, "I am sorry you felt that way."

Another 'apology' was "I am sorry that you misunderstood me."

One of the points made was that neither of these statements are actually an apology. They are not repentant. Both statements start with "I am sorry that YOU..." That isn't repentance, that is blame. When you make blame look like repentance, I think that is repentance abuse.

My least favorite of the false repentance statements is, "If I misunderstood you, then I am sorry." That says to me, "I still don't think I did something wrong. It is YOUR fault for not making yourself clearer, not MY fault for being too sensitive."

I don't want false repentance. I would rather not have any apology at all if I am only going to be offered false repentance.

If I am really repentant, then I am aware of what I did wrong, of how it hurt the person who I offended and I will make an effort to make the person whom I have offended know that I really want that person to forgive me. I want to heal our relationship, not damage it further.

I have committed repentance abuse. When I use it, I am using it with deliberation. I am carefully phrasing it so that no one will misunderstand me and think that I think I have done anything wrong. I think my false repentance is either based in pride, a complete lack of understanding for what the person who was hurt by my actions felt, or a desire to simply divert the argument so that I don't actually have to apologize. When I do it, I am trying to look good for others ("Look at what a good Christian I am, I apologized!") and I demean the person who deserves my apology. ("Why won't he/she accept my apology?")

When I use it, I am aware that it is not really an apology. I wonder if others who use it know it is not really repentance? I see people use it in these forums and in real life and I wonder if they are aware that what they are saying is that they are not really sorry for anything. I know that when I use it, I am not really sorry for anything.

In our Marriage Encounter, they instructed us that love truly DOES mean never having to say, "I'm sorry." However, it does require saying, "Please forgive me. I wronged you. This is how I wronged you. I cannot promise I will not do it again, but knowing that it hurt you hurts me. I will make every effort not to do it again."

I have found over the years that those words apply in more situations than just with one's spouse. I feel better when I use those words with my children, with my friends, with family and even with people I interact with online.

Luke 17:3-4
So watch yourselves.
"If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

Acts 3:17-20
"Now, brothers, I know that you acted in ignorance, as did your leaders. But this is how God fulfilled what he had foretold through all the prophets, saying that his Christ would suffer. Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord, and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you—even Jesus.

Amen.

People: It's what is NOT for dinner

As a very young child, I lived in a trailer park. I remember that at the top of the hill behind our trailer, there was a family and their daughter Amy was about my same age. I was a lonely child and I would ask my mom if I could go to her house to play whenever I could. I am sure that I did traumatic things to her and I do not excuse those things, but as memories go there are two incidents with Amy that were so traumatic for me that I still remember them and they still affect me today.

I do not recall if Amy ever came to my house to play, but the way I remember our relationship is that whenever I went to her house I would always end up unhappy because she would not share. I remember being in her bedroom and wanting to play with one of her toys. She refused to let me play with any toys and would grab anything from my hand that I would pick up. We started bickering and she bit me because I was arguing with her. I remember her father ended up taking me home. While traumatic because it is the only time I ever remember being bitten, I think the reason I remember it so vividly is because this was typical behavior for Amy and her mother would always say that it was my fault if we were playing at her house. Even Amy biting me was my fault in her mother's opinion because if I hadn't been arguing with Amy over playing with her toys, she would not have bit me. I remember my mom asking me why I would want to play with someone who treated me like that and as an adult I can describe the feeling I had as lonliness, but I could not have communicated that to her at the time.

Time passed and as things like this go, Amy and I eventually made up. Another day I went up the hill to her trailer to play in her yard and her mother brought out drinks for us in the Tupperware cups that all the moms had during that time. We giggled and talked while drinking our kool-aid and then Amy said, "Watch this" and suddenly hauled back with her arm and smashed the glass on the screen door with her Tupperware cup. It was frightening. Her mother came out and asked, “Who did it?” Amy pointed at me. I was shocked that she would lie and started crying when her mother sent me home, but I was sure that the truth would eventually come out.

Within a few days, I went up the hill to ask Amy to play. When I arrived, the broken screen window was being replaced and Amy told me that she was not allowed to play with me anymore. I asked her why and she said that it was because I broke the glass. When I started to argue with her and point out that she was the one who broke the glass, she shrugged her shoulders. Her mother saw me and told me to go home. I remember crying when I went home because I was being punished when I did not do anything wrong. I could not believe that my friendship meant so little to her that instead of telling the truth so that we could play together, she would maintain her lie. I was never allowed to play with Amy again.

To this day, I worry about how something appears on the outside to others because I do not have a problem receiving just punishment if I did something wrong, but being punished when I did not do something wrong offends me deep inside and literally causes me emotional pain.

I think back as an adult on how those incidents affected who I am today and I think of how God was even at work then in my life. God knew that being blamed for that and feeling that punishment would stay with me as hard lessons always do. It even influences the kind of parent I am today, because I do not want to be a parent like Amy's mom. Her mom refused to believe her child could do wrong. I know that Amy behaved worse and worse because she knew she would get away with it and she knew she would get away with it because her mother made excuses for her behavior and refused to see her child’s faults. That did not help Amy to become a better person because no matter what she did wrong, she faced no consequences for her actions.

It also influenced my opinion of lying to get out of trouble. After that, I could not lie about something if I thought someone else would suffer the consequences for my actions. I am not saying that I did not lie, but I would not let anyone think that someone else was at fault for something I did wrong.

I do not know if the story I heard was true, but I was thinking of this incident when I heard that Jeffrey Dahmer said that he was never told by anyone while he was growing up that killing people and eating them was wrong. Not that a parent would normally think as his or her child is growing up that telling the child, "We don’t eat people" is actually necessary, but I wonder if he lived in a home where nothing he did was wrong so eating people would naturally be OK if that is what he wanted to do. I wonder what kind of limitations his parents did give him growing up.

Everyone needs limitations. People need to hear what they should NOT do, even when the culture they live in says it is ok. When it comes down to it, is that not what God did when He ended human sacrifice? God had to come out and say, "Abraham, it is not necessary to kill your son." All the other societies said, "Killing your children is fine" and "There is nothing wrong with human sacrifice." All the neighbors might have thought it was ok, but it was a limitation that humanity needed. Good parents give their children limitations, whether the limitations are, "You have to eat your dinner to get potato chips for dessert", "do not touch the stove", “you have to clean your room if you want to go out with your friends” or “do not eat people.” Limitations are the gift of a person who loves you wanting you to be more than what you are...not for them, but for YOU.

So the next time your feel like someone is criticizing you, remember that the person is just sharing the world of their limitations because he or she loves you and wants you to be the best you that you can be. The next time your child does something wrong, remember that he or she will become an adult you can be proud of due to the love you show, through the just punishment you bestow. Every one of us is a better person for the limitations we have been taught.

Psalm 119:124
Deal with your servant according to your love and teach me your decrees.

John 14:23-24
Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.

God bless you.